Know-It All: What Are These Strange Obelisks Doing on Ontario Street?

When you discover a mysterious obelisk in your travels, it’s usually a sign that you are actually a character in some sort of sci-fi movie: perhaps one called Starblaster  X: Escape to the Plortox  Dimension; definitely one that takes place on a dust planet because they all take place on a dust planet (why can’t space be wet?). But look around and collect some more data before you take up arms against Space Emperor Gorbezz-lor. Are you travelling with a wacky-yet-wise robot sidekick? Are you speaking with an English accent for no good reason? No? Then you’re probably just on a walk down Ontario Street. At ease, space soldier.

There are a dozen of these strange markers along the Ontario Greenway, installed by the city in 2002 between SW Marine Drive and Olympic Village. They were designed by landscape architect Alexandra Steed, who repurposed granite rescued from the original curbs in the area. Maybe this isn’t as mystical an origin story as for other stone-based wonders of the world, but, to be fair, we don’t know for sure that Stonehenge isn’t the work of an ancient, ambitious landscape architect. (Would explain a lot, honestly.)

The markers have some rudimentary wayfinding functionality—lines and dots carved into each obelisk indicate where along the greenway one is currently standing. You might not think this is very helpful, given that maps exist, but in the event that a vengeful crow swoops down and takes your smartphone, and then doubles back to snag your map book from your hands, and then comes back a third time to peck your eyes so you can’t read the street signs anymore, you’ll be glad you had this backup to the backup to the backup option. You can never be too prepared when it comes to remembering that you’re at Ontario and 8th! I’ve always said that.

But more than providing orientation, the intended goal of these obelisks is to “spark curiosity and social interaction,” according to an official City of Vancouver spokesperson. Sure, if I were handed a bunch of raw granite and tasked with provoking passersby, I might’ve gone for something more titillating (nudity), but for 20-plus years, the obelisks have offended no one, which is more than we can say for that poodle statue on Main and 18th.

And should you crave an alternative way to admire some taxpayer-funded recycled granite, there are other examples around town of old curbs being given new life. Seating along the Ridgeway Greenway, west of Nanaimo, is made from curb granite; ditto water fountains at Killarney and East 45th, and a chess board at Ontario and 18th Avenue. The Stonehenge architects could only dream of this sort of breadth.