No Fun City Strikes Back

Vancouver City Council may have shot down the prospect of wine sales in grocery stores, but that doesn't mean you can't still have a good time

December 17, 2015

A few weeks back, when asked why he had created a cabinet that included as many women as men, Prime Minister Justin Trudeau told reporters that it was “because it’s 2015.” But as far as Vancouver City Council is concerned, it might as well be 1965—at least, when it comes to where and how Vancouverites buy their wine. Council voted against a staff recommendation that would have seen five grocery stores sell B.C. wine under the terms of a year-long pilot project. “It’s going to take quite a lot to convince me that liquor in grocery stores is actually going to be okay,” Councillor Kerry Jang said during Wednesday’s meeting, when the vote on the issue took place. “There are tons of other things people can do other than getting alcohol to get drunk…there are other ways to have a good time, it doesn’t require that.”

We’re not entirely sure why he thinks that buying alcohol invariably means that people are getting drunk, but in the spirit of the holidays we thought we’d take Councilor Jang’s advice to heart. As such (and for those who couldn’t get to a liquor store in time to buy a bottle of wine) here are five ways to have fun in Vancouver without getting sauced.

  1. Enjoy a selection of fine cheeses with a flight of artisanal milks

Sure, it’s not quite the same as wine and cheese, but at least you’ll get to bed on time.

  1. Stone-cold sober board game night

Without any alcohol clouding the picture, you can finally break out Diplomacy without fear of having to phone the police later in the evening to quell the inevitable violence.

  1. Share a pot of Earl Grey tea with your Tinder date

It might not help you break the ice as quickly as a bottle (or two) of wine, but at least you won’t have to contend with the fallout from any decisions taken in, err, haste.

  1. Catch up with an old friend over a few rounds of espresso

With all that caffeine coursing through your system, you’ll be able to do a full debrief on the last 20 years of your lives—right down to that time they stole your girlfriend that you forgot that you blocked out of your memory.

  1. You, some friends, the big game and a two litre jug of Coca-Cola Classic

Look, we’re clearly running out of ideas here. Does anyone have some whiskey we can mix with this stuff?

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