Weed Coast: Your Pre-Rolled Picks for When You’re Too Busy to Do it Yourself
Our intrepid pot reporter stocks up on pre-rolled joints to combat a no-time-to-roll schedule. Here, he shares his faves.
August 29, 2018
Does this sound all at familiar?
For the past several months, my weekday has started with the alarm going off at 5 a.m., set to give me just enough time (to the minute) to make the coffee, feed the cats, let out the dog, clean up the pet messes from the night before, make my lunch, let in the dog, shower, shave, get dressed, pack my bag, tiptoe upstairs to kiss my wife and kids (very, very quietly), throw on my shoes and run down the hill to catch the bus to work. Of course, this is only the first stage of a busy morning marathon to a hectic but exciting job that sees me turning back another nine or ten hours later only to face a thick sludge of evening traffic before I finally land home around 6:30 or 7.
But that’s not all.
By the time dinner is made, kitchen is cleaned up, pets are fed, laundry is folded, clothes are ironed, the next morning’s coffee beans are ground, the kids are put to bed, and emails are checked, it’s well after 9 p.m. and I’m teetering towards exhaustion. Nevertheless, in a vain effort to carve out some precious “me time”, I force myself to stay awake long enough to enjoy at least one quiet episode of my favourite cooking show on Netflix. That’s it. I’ve got nothing left to give. And on the most tired of nights, the act of selecting a bud, grinding it up, finding my papers and rolling a nightcap joint is more effort than I can stand.
Enter my savior, the glorious pre-roll.
I’ll admit that I’ve developed a fondness for completing my weed purchases with a pre-rolled joint or two. I love both their portability as well as their convenience, considering you don’t have to (remember to) purchase separate rolling papers, filters, a grinder, or any other tools to roll your own. Usually pretty inexpensive, they’re also a great way to try a new strain without committing too much cash. The best stores will carry a selection of half gram or full gram joints, typically strain-specific, but sometimes as “house blends” (read: leftovers) that are classified under one of the three strain types, indica, sativa or hybrid.
This week, for fun, I decided to only purchase pre-rolls, making sure to select new strains I’ve never tried before. And maybe I was hungry at the time, but I laughed when I realized each one was named after a food. And each of them were very tasty, indeed.
First up was Blue Cheese, a 70/30 indica-dominant hybrid that totally lived up to its namesake. Its sought-after aromatic assault of ripe blueberry and distinctly sweaty cheese revealed itself after the very first puff. Knocked off my feet by its overwhelming pungency, I was rescued by a blanket of calm that overtook me like a slow-moving cotton cloud. I’d keep this one in mind for daytime enjoyment. Not too heavy. Just lovely.
Tuna Kush, a born-and-bred-B.C.-classic indica, left me wondering why I’d never tried it before. Thankfully NOT smelling or tasting of tuna, the taste was a truly delightful mix of dark chocolate, dried cherry and Spanish lavender. As the rich, fruity flavours faded, a profound feeling of relaxation took hold of my entire upper body, starting with my shoulders and working its way to my knees. Highly recommended in small amounts, especially if it’s your first time, this one is best consumed at the end of your day.
I’ve tried the famous GSC (formerly known as Girl Scout Cookies) before, but until this shopping trip I hadn’t tried the Thin Mint GSC version. With chocolate and fresh mint flavours, one puff was all I needed of this 60/40 sativa-dominant hybrid. Reportedly carrying upwards of 25 percent THC, it gave me a cerebral buzz that I’ll admit I found off-balance. Given its hybrid genetics, I was expecting a slow and steady experience, but its minty aromatics suggested high quantities of the stimulating limonene and pinene terpenes, which likely overwhelmed the session. Glad I tried it, but was happy to move on.
Seeking a slightly more positive experience, a couple of pulls on the Strawberry Ice pre-roll offered a quick and gentle experiential lift to a pleasant plateau. Another sativa-dominant hybrid, it offered flavours of wild red berries, mint, basil and sweet earth. Creamy on the palate, with a lightly herbal finish, the overall effects were mild and relatively short-lived. This would be another one to appreciate on a rare, unrushed weekend afternoon, pairing perfectly with fresh air fun.
The breakdown: Blue Cheese, indica-dominant hybrid; Tuna Kush, indica; Thin Mint GSC, sativa-dominant hybrid; Strawberry Ice, sativa-dominant hybrid, $5 per half gram pre-roll each. Available at Urban Earth Medical Cannabis (1605 Renfrew Street).